Up until now my blogging has really only been me posting a few pictures and then adding some captions to them. Well, for better or for worse, Brittney took me on a tour of all of her favorite blogs. We read and we laughed and we stayed up way too late enjoying blogs of people we barely know or don't even know at all. And then it happened. My self-esteem took a hit. Why am I not writing interesting or clever or witty entries? Why am I not cataloging the exciting experiences I'm having here in El Salvador like the blogger living in India or the blogger living in New York? I thought I had a small talent for writing and here are these people, people who don't even think of themselves as writers, who write so much better than I can.
This recent blow to my ego reminded me of how I used to feel sometimes in college when I'd compare myself to an over-achiever roommate or in church when these seemingly perfect women would walk in all smiley, talented, and credentialed. The funny thing is that I mainly have this insecure reaction amongst Mormon peers. I see their accomplishments and I inevitably think to myself, "I should be doing that. Why am I not doing that?"
thanks for revealing to all readers that i read peoples blogs that i dont even know regularly!!!
Posted by: Brittney Bellessa | March 23, 2008 at 08:02 PM
I may be mistaken, but I think I'm that blogger in India you're talking about! Blogging is a bit freaky, eh? I completely understand about that self-esteem blow after reading other amazing Mormon women's blogs. I think that happens in part because blogging makes normal pedestrian lives seem unique and heroic--and that's why we like it so much. I also think blogging is becoming the new bread-baking or craft project of Mormon culture. Heaven forbid we all try to outdo each other in blogging too, or pretend we're something we're not. Though I must say that when I can resist comparing myself to these women, they often really lift me through their blogs. Guess it's the same in life too. I'd love to chat with you in a less public way since we seem to have a lot in common in our expat lives . . . merinda.cutler@gmail.com. I really admire the way you seem to have made El Salvador your home.
Posted by: Merinda | March 29, 2008 at 11:22 AM
I may be mistaken, but I think I'm that blogger in India you're talking about! Blogging is a bit freaky, eh? I completely understand about that self-esteem blow after reading other amazing Mormon women's blogs. I think that happens in part because blogging makes normal pedestrian lives seem unique and heroic--and that's why we like it so much. I also think blogging is becoming the new bread-baking or craft project of Mormon culture. Heaven forbid we all try to outdo each other in blogging too, or pretend we're something we're not. Though I must say that when I can resist comparing myself to these women, they often really lift me through their blogs. Guess it's the same in life too. I'd love to chat with you in a less public way since we seem to have a lot in common in our expat lives . . . merinda.cutler@gmail.com. I really admire the way you seem to have made El Salvador your home.
Posted by: Merinda | March 29, 2008 at 11:24 AM
I'm sure my never-on-time blog is one of those that really makes you intimidated. I'm working on my Easter blog right now while Ezra is watching Diego... for the 2nd time.
I must say that I am just glad to have a way to connect with you. We still miss hanging with you and wish we could know your kids! Keep up the posts.
Posted by: Stacie Smith | March 31, 2008 at 01:16 PM
i totally know what you mean, i am always blown away by so many people's blog including yours, by the way. i always admired you so much, your smile your energy and i think it comes through just fine on your blog! thanks for sharing it. your children are as beautiful as you!
Posted by: Corrie Alonso | April 03, 2008 at 11:54 PM
Fash,
Gimme a break girlie! We all know how fabulous you are in every way. I remember so clearly how many people would come up to you at BYU, they knew you, loved you, and remembered your name. I was jealous every single day!!!!
I remain jealously yours,
luvs, aby
Posted by: Aby Runyan | April 08, 2008 at 10:38 PM
PS -
Any idea if Rachael or Tami have a blog? Or do you know their e-mails? I have NO idea whatsoever what either of them has been up to.
luvs, aby
Posted by: Aby Runyan | April 08, 2008 at 10:40 PM